Nurse=Slave=Eyelash Stubbed Psychic

Marks surgery went very well yesterday. It took about 5 hrs, about 11am to 4:30pm, the surgeon was great about explaining everything to me. They won't know if there is any metastasis for about a week, then we go from there. He did talk to us a little about trial treatments that are showing promise. Mark decided to have a discussion about this right before he went into surgery. (???) However even the ones showing promise only seem to prolong your time from like 5 months to a yr. Not exactly a breakthrough cure. So,...we will see what they find. The surgeon also told us that Mark has some prostate issues that may affect his other kidney of he doesn't have surgery on that in the next 6 months to a year. But he suggested one thing at a time, get thru this, then address the prostate issue. So, back to waiting. He didn't sleep much last night,..so he made sure I did not either. He got in his mind that I was the only person who could get him up and down to the bathroom. Literally every 30-40 minutes. Even when the nurse was right here, he would dismiss her and say,.."No, my wife can help me". By 2;30 am I had enough of that. I had to go all ICU NURSE on him and set some limits. His response,..total Asperger syndrome response..."I thought you were here to help me? You are better at this than they are. I don't want them to see my bottom." UGH!!! Give me a break. Here is how my speech went...I informed him I was "not his personal nurse, slave, or psychic that could read his mind. These nurses are well trained and paid to take care of you, I need at least 2 hrs of sleep tonight.These nurses are totally capable of getting you to the bathroom, back to bed, hooking up your SCDs on your legs, plugging in your IV pump, covering you up, holding the basin in case you start puking, even handing you the cup of water. You are not an invalid. Your arms were not paralyzed in surgery. You seem to be able to work the TV remote okay. He sleeps to the hum of the Dow report, Wall Street, and Mad Money stock reports. He says it is relaxing. OMG!!! Could we be any more opposite? So this morning, day #2 post op, I made him walk the hall, get himself into the bathroom, pull his own covers up, ask the nurse for pain meds himself, and I will assist back to bed. He wants to go home today, I have reminded him, if he doesn't start making more effort the answer will be no. It is gonna be no. Clearly we have different ideas on how much pain is tolerable. They ask him how his pain is on a scale from 1 to 10. He says 2, and then asks for more medication. They have reminded him he is not supposed to be snowed and pain free, just tolerable. They are talking to the wrong guy, he would like to be comatose. I have also had to remind him (several times) he is not the only patient assigned to this RN, so it make take her more than 30 sec to get his morphine. SO,..I feel like I will probably have to be the "tough love" wife/mother the rest of this visit if he is going to get out of here. And he is a stubborn sucker! He knows he is really snappy and the nurses are tiptoeing around him, which works for him so that I will do everything,..he is wrong. He also has a student nurse doing a care plan on him,...more power to you sister! She was asking him all these questions about his emotions and feelings regarding the cancer diagnosis and his coping. He was pretty snappy with her, and I suggested to him he tell her about the Asperger diagnosis. He said "oh ,...yeah". He explained and that helped her not take it so personally. He is spending most of his awake time watching the history channel,..about rats and he is telling me why there should be "rat guillotines". Clearly the pain meds have kicked in. So that's how it's going (picture me smiling with gritted teeth!) I think that maybe this nurse/wife is feeling the effects of no sleep too! Keep in mind I have no eyelashes,..who is really suffering here!
You are foolish to think I am not capable of being as stubborn as you are! ~House MD